Rahelandesta's Weblog

Hits and misses

rahelandesta — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 07:23:25 +0000

Hits:

new work schedule (7.40am – 2.30pm)
friends
students
money
time
relaxation
Billie, my cat

Misses:

friends (ones that are away)
money
car (i need my own wheels!!)
music (i can’t remember the last time i went to a show)
heat (way to much here)

Perception

rahelandesta — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 13:54:58 +0000

What happens to a person when all their memories have been wiped out? What I’ve read most often is that the person either has no recollection of their history or certain events. However, they do retain the ability to speak and I assume calculate (1+1=2 kinda thing).fascinating.

I have a memory of my self. Of who I was. Though to hear from friends that they perceived me as someone else is just uncomprehendable. It’s either I portrayed myself in a different light than I really was or I was two different people. But I guess this is how it is for every one. Who we are through our own perception isn’t always the same as the other person’s perception of us. I could think I were a saint but to someone else I could be the devil incarnate.

You just never know what others think of you until one day they tell you. And when they do, be prepared to face it.

rahelandesta — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 15:50:15 +0000

job hunting sucks majorly.

Life a pile of crap?

rahelandesta — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 05:59:24 +0000

I was talking to a friend this morning when we brought up the topic of God. Both of us (and another dear friend) are somewhat in the same boat where it seems like nothing in life is going on smoothly. Her with studies and job (the lack of) and me with studies (the lack of) and job. It seems that which ever door we try to open it gets slammed shut in our faces. And we wondered where God comes in. Like why is it HE blesses other and not us. The blessing here is purely in the materialistic sense, not spiritual. She brought up this thing where she notices certain leaders in church are continually blessed and raised up while they commit sins (meaning blatant adultery and what-not that she has noticed). Good point seeing that these are church elders and leaders. Why? And why does our friend who is a non-believer be blessed so well in life and job, having the financial freedom we only dream of. Why? Why not her and her mom who serve in church quietly behind the scenes be filled with never-ending problems in life. Where is the peace that God so promised? What about our other friend who is so faithful in her trust in God, who worships Him sincerely, why is she having the troubles that she is. She who is so nice and giving and of no malicious feelings towards other, why is she facing her older brother who seems hell bent in making her life miserable? And why me, who is working hard teaching others not have be given a chance myself to complete my studies? Does it seem fair that I am grooming these children for a brighter future when my own is cloudy? That I feel like a failure because my society teaches us that a person who doesn’t walk around with a paper qualification is worth crap. That my friend’s family look down on her because she took up biotechnology and not medicine. That she would probably never be allowed to marry the man she likes because he isn’t a doctor but a mere engineer. And now that she wants to do do graduate studies, the universities are ripping apart her qualifications and telling her they aren’t sufficient while wanting to rob her off of hundreds of thousands of ringgit so that she could get a higher qualification. Why is it that us three as believers, Christians feel so oppressed in this world. We have no answers for it. Perhaps because we choose to live by the rules of this world. I know I am. I know God can deliver me and yet I choose not to wait upon Him for the fear that I have that I am end up a failure. In man’s eyes. In my eyes. (I know in God’s eyes HE sees me as His own) This is because I choose to live by the rules of this world, I set my self up to be judged by man. Until the day I completely let go of the earthly wants and not fall in its trappings, I will always fall short on God.

“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.” – 1 John 2:15-17

The verse above is for me. I hope it will not continue to be for me forever.

“Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many, I say to you, will seek to enter and will not be able.” – Luke 13:24

Divine words

rahelandesta — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 14:39:14 +0000

During worship in church this morning, I felt the urge to pick up my Bible and look up a few verses that have touched and spoken to me in the past few years. Some of the verses felt as relevent as they were in the past while some gave me the push that I so badly need.

So, here goes my list of favourite Bible verses.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” – Galatians 1:10
“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.” – 1 John 2:15-17
“…My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” – Hebrews 12:5,6
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” – 1 John 5:14,15
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” – Psalm 46:10
“In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.” – Psalm 4:4
“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.” – Psalm 13:5,6
“Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.” – Ecclesiastes 2:11
“Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him—for this is his lot. Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.” – Ecclesiastes 5:18-20
“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” – Zephaniah 3:17
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” – Isaiah 48:10
“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:31
“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” - Acts 2:42-47 [this, in my opinion, is the ideal way of governance and living and the way the church should be]

There are many more verses, even whole chapters that spoke to me in great volumes. Essentially, the above are important.

HE hears. He heals. HE comforts.

Such Desperation

rahelandesta — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 15:24:00 +0000

Oh…how much I enjoy watching Desperate Housewives. Especially Gabriel Solis. Like right now on the telly is the episode in which she gets the handicapped parking tag so that she can score good parking spots on the basis that her husband is blind. It’s like “hey, this is crappy, but lets see how I can make it work for me”. Awesomeness. I want to be just like her when I grow up. Perhaps not exactly like her…that would be heartless.

class or no class

rahelandesta — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 15:33:51 +0000

I went all the way to Kulim and guess what happened?

My students didn’t show up!! How frustrating. So, I sat in in Sherline’s form 5 class and we had fun. One of the girls had pictures of some lovely lingerie on their phones and she was showing them to the rest. Then another girl whips out pictures of transvestites that her sister met when in Thailand. Amidst all that fun picture viewing, they managed to learn about one of Shakespeare’s sonnets and do some test papers. Makes me wonder why none of my classes were as fun when I was a student.

Yeah…we make great teachers.

Fun Times

rahelandesta — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 15:45:10 +0000

It’s been so long since I made a list. Any list. So, here to the start of exciting serious of LISTS!!

First up, list of books that I love.

The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffinegger
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs
The Book of Sins by Bernice Chauly
The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
Howl by Allen Ginsberg
Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Animal Farm by George Orwell
Harry Potter (all of them) by J.K Rowling
Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
Family Matters by Rohinton Mistry
Northern Lights by Philip Pullman
Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
Arabian Nights by someone
Terrorist: A Novel by John Updike
Dry by Augusten Burroughs

Oh, that’s all for now. There are a few more that I would add later. Off to bed now. **Yawn**

Black Adder

rahelandesta — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 04:38:22 +0000

Black Adder. Bundle of laughs and wit. I love it.

Here are some favourite lines:

Baldrick: Morning, Mr. B.
Blackadder: Leave me alone, Baldrick. If I wanted to talk to a vegetable, I would have bought one at the market.

Oh, something’s always wrong, Balders. The fact that I’m not a millionaire aristocrat, with the sexual capacity of a rutting rhino, is a constant niggle.

Oh…how much I wish I were as sarcastic and witty. Balders!!

frumpp…

rahelandesta — Mon, 19 May 2008 14:35:26 +0000

i am too bored to post anything here. i need to curl up with a hot cup of tea and a good book. have to go to work tomorrow. sigh. it’s been nice to have four days away from my babies (my students) but life has to resume. thank goodness the school holidays are starting this saturday. two weeks off baby. tho my tutoring would continue on as usual. i love teaching. despite all the love i feel towards the profession, i need a break in between to stay sane.